I began riding the buses when I was in the 4th grade. Some friends of mine had ridden the week before and said they would get a prize (and I would too) if they brought a visitor. So I agreed to go. I had no idea how that bus trip would affect the rest of my life.
From week to week, we continued to ride the Sunday morning bus to church. I still remember my first Sunday School teacher, Mrs. Diane Meeks. She was always so sweet and kind. After Sunday School we got to go to children's church. We sat on the bleachers in the gym and sang songs and had our Bible lesson taught by Bro. Jett. He was so much fun and I couldn't get enough. I wanted to come back every week for more!
James Hanson is the one who kept bringing me back. Every Saturday he would knock on my door to be sure I was coming. I looked forward to his visits every Saturday, without fail. I could always count on him to be there.
Before long, I got to start helping on the bus by taking roll or helping to lead the singing. One Sunday I had my first opportunity to lead someone to the Lord on the bus. Bro. Hanson told me to tell a little boy named Josh how to be saved. I did the best I knew how and Josh was saved that morning on the bus. I don't know what happened to him after that day. He never rode the bus again. I had given him my little new testament from my grandmother to take home with him to read. I can only hope he read it and perhaps shared it with someone else. As I think of it, I am reminded to pray for him. I will never forget him.
The experiences, and even more, the love felt on that bus from week to week is why I am saved and still in church today.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Season's of Motherhood
These are the notes from speaking at our ladies "Season's of Life" Mother's Day Banquet.
I had a 6 page speech written out that covered my infertility battle, Lane's genetic disorder, the tornado, and how all those situations affected motherhood in my life. Well, 2 days before I was to give my talk the Lord had me toss the entire thing. I had been so busy trying to get stuff done, I didn't wait on the lord to guide my speech. I tried to get something down on paper in the very limited time I had with at least 1 child asleep. So there I was, Thursday morning and I had no idea what I would say in front of the ladies at the banquet Saturday morning.
At the same time, a friend of mine reminded me that I was supposed to decorate a table for the banquet and not to forget to make food as well. I had completely forgotten! Just one of the many things I've agreed to do and have completely forgotten. I've done that a lot lately!
I also received an e-mail that reminded me that I was scheduled Sunday for the nursery and another e-mail asking if I could fill in for the 3 yr. old class on Wednesday night. Of course I spent last Sunday and Wednesday in those same rooms, but that's ok. I'll probably end up down there anyway to feed Michael. To top the whole morning off, God also decided it was time for Michael to become very fussy and begin running a fever and cut his first tooth! How was I supposed to get my thoughts together for Saturday? These were all just a few of the situations of my Thursday morning and we hadn't even had lunch yet.
Speaking of lunch...can we talk about my kitchen? My kitchen was once used to make gourmet meals with tastes and flavors from around the globe. Now I have a 4yr. old who has decided he doesn't like to eat anything anymore! It doesn't matter how kid friendly we get. Chicken, burgers, pizza, spaghetti, macaroni, even McDonald's - He doesn't want it and dinner time is a constant battle. On the rare occasions that I actually have the baby fed and I've been able to get a nice hot meal on the table when daddy finally gets home around 6:15, I'm met with words like "gross" or "I really don't like that mommy".
Oh, and speaking of my kitchen, can I tell you how much I hate this person called the Fly Lady? I've BANNED her from my computer! If the Fly Lady came to my house, she would SMACK me because she wouldn't be able to FIND my sink much less shine it! She'd probably also have plenty to say about the lack of counter space due to an assorted array of piles. And I'm sorry, but NO, my bed is not made, there are piles of clothing everywhere that only I know which are clean and which are dirty, and I most definitely did not get fully dressed down to the shoes. Is she kidding?!! I haven't had a shower in 2 days and I don't want to add to the pile of laundry because I'm obviously not going anywhere without a shower!
Shall I mention the marriage relationship? I keep hearing people talking about a "date night". I'm just wondering when my husband and I would even feel up to going out on a date. We would have to do that on the spur of the moment whenever all the planets have aligned just right and head out the door quickly! A date takes forethought, preparation and a babysitter. All of that is not available on the spur of the moment. Besides, if we had all of that, we'd really just rather stay home and take a nap! Right now its pretty much just church and the grocery store for us.
You know I often forget that he is tired too. He also has not had a full nights rest in over 6 months and has had to deal with not only the demands of both a preschooler and a newborn, but also an exhausted wife. Part of me understands he is very tired as he leaves for work at 7am and doesn't get home until around 6:15 at night, but the other part of me just knows that I'm alone with the kids all day, every day, and wishes he could just be home to help.
I haven't even begun to tell you how we battle with little Michael's lack of appetite and his consistent downward fall off the growth charts. The many, many times a day I attempt to feed him whether by me, a bottle, or baby food, only for him to refuse everything! As I was typing this, it has been nearly 14 hours since he has eaten. The doctors question me constantly to make sure I'm a fit mother who is doing all she can and my emotions are often all over the place as I question myself as well.
All of this is why it is so incredibly important that I take the time to remember that I am not alone. I have a Heavenly Father who is acquainted with my grief. Who will provide rest to my weary soul. Who reminds me that I actually have a life better than most women around the world, with supportive friends and family. I have a wonderfully patient husband and 2 beautiful children who have literally changed the way I view the world! I enjoy the beautiful site of a baby's smile every morning and a preschooler who runs to the door to be picked up from Sunday School just because mommy has arrived. God has given me all that I could ever need and so much more. In the midst of this crazy season of life I can still find Joy. JOY IS NOT THE ABSENCE OF TRIALS. JOY COMES FROM BEING IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD. So here in this season of life, I cling to God! I try to recognize His many blessings in my life. God is always with me. He is always faithful and He has a plan to accomplish in and through me. I am so thankful that I can experience this special and unforgettable season of life.
I had a 6 page speech written out that covered my infertility battle, Lane's genetic disorder, the tornado, and how all those situations affected motherhood in my life. Well, 2 days before I was to give my talk the Lord had me toss the entire thing. I had been so busy trying to get stuff done, I didn't wait on the lord to guide my speech. I tried to get something down on paper in the very limited time I had with at least 1 child asleep. So there I was, Thursday morning and I had no idea what I would say in front of the ladies at the banquet Saturday morning.
At the same time, a friend of mine reminded me that I was supposed to decorate a table for the banquet and not to forget to make food as well. I had completely forgotten! Just one of the many things I've agreed to do and have completely forgotten. I've done that a lot lately!
I also received an e-mail that reminded me that I was scheduled Sunday for the nursery and another e-mail asking if I could fill in for the 3 yr. old class on Wednesday night. Of course I spent last Sunday and Wednesday in those same rooms, but that's ok. I'll probably end up down there anyway to feed Michael. To top the whole morning off, God also decided it was time for Michael to become very fussy and begin running a fever and cut his first tooth! How was I supposed to get my thoughts together for Saturday? These were all just a few of the situations of my Thursday morning and we hadn't even had lunch yet.
Speaking of lunch...can we talk about my kitchen? My kitchen was once used to make gourmet meals with tastes and flavors from around the globe. Now I have a 4yr. old who has decided he doesn't like to eat anything anymore! It doesn't matter how kid friendly we get. Chicken, burgers, pizza, spaghetti, macaroni, even McDonald's - He doesn't want it and dinner time is a constant battle. On the rare occasions that I actually have the baby fed and I've been able to get a nice hot meal on the table when daddy finally gets home around 6:15, I'm met with words like "gross" or "I really don't like that mommy".
Oh, and speaking of my kitchen, can I tell you how much I hate this person called the Fly Lady? I've BANNED her from my computer! If the Fly Lady came to my house, she would SMACK me because she wouldn't be able to FIND my sink much less shine it! She'd probably also have plenty to say about the lack of counter space due to an assorted array of piles. And I'm sorry, but NO, my bed is not made, there are piles of clothing everywhere that only I know which are clean and which are dirty, and I most definitely did not get fully dressed down to the shoes. Is she kidding?!! I haven't had a shower in 2 days and I don't want to add to the pile of laundry because I'm obviously not going anywhere without a shower!
Shall I mention the marriage relationship? I keep hearing people talking about a "date night". I'm just wondering when my husband and I would even feel up to going out on a date. We would have to do that on the spur of the moment whenever all the planets have aligned just right and head out the door quickly! A date takes forethought, preparation and a babysitter. All of that is not available on the spur of the moment. Besides, if we had all of that, we'd really just rather stay home and take a nap! Right now its pretty much just church and the grocery store for us.
You know I often forget that he is tired too. He also has not had a full nights rest in over 6 months and has had to deal with not only the demands of both a preschooler and a newborn, but also an exhausted wife. Part of me understands he is very tired as he leaves for work at 7am and doesn't get home until around 6:15 at night, but the other part of me just knows that I'm alone with the kids all day, every day, and wishes he could just be home to help.
I haven't even begun to tell you how we battle with little Michael's lack of appetite and his consistent downward fall off the growth charts. The many, many times a day I attempt to feed him whether by me, a bottle, or baby food, only for him to refuse everything! As I was typing this, it has been nearly 14 hours since he has eaten. The doctors question me constantly to make sure I'm a fit mother who is doing all she can and my emotions are often all over the place as I question myself as well.
All of this is why it is so incredibly important that I take the time to remember that I am not alone. I have a Heavenly Father who is acquainted with my grief. Who will provide rest to my weary soul. Who reminds me that I actually have a life better than most women around the world, with supportive friends and family. I have a wonderfully patient husband and 2 beautiful children who have literally changed the way I view the world! I enjoy the beautiful site of a baby's smile every morning and a preschooler who runs to the door to be picked up from Sunday School just because mommy has arrived. God has given me all that I could ever need and so much more. In the midst of this crazy season of life I can still find Joy. JOY IS NOT THE ABSENCE OF TRIALS. JOY COMES FROM BEING IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD. So here in this season of life, I cling to God! I try to recognize His many blessings in my life. God is always with me. He is always faithful and He has a plan to accomplish in and through me. I am so thankful that I can experience this special and unforgettable season of life.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
My Lovely One
Wow! Where did March go! Here we are in the first week of April already. Spring has sprung in TN. As I sit in my chair typing away, my 5mo. old is kicking and shaking a rattle in his bassinet beside me. He is the most amazing and wonderful gift of God and I am so thankful for him. He reminds me how much the Father loves me and cares for me no matter what stage of life I am in. In His eyes I am His own creation; created by Him and for Him and no one could love me more than my Creator! I think of how much I love my son and then compare it to how much my Father in Heaven loves me and I remember my love is nothing in comparison! As much as I feel like I love little Michael, my love is nothing compared to the One who is love. I know that no matter how my relationship stands with Him on a day to day basis, He loved me enough to die for me and the whole world regardless of whether or not we loved Him back. His love is a sacrificial love. His love is a love that expects nothing in return. Wow! Oh to have the love of the Father. Help me, Oh God, to share how much you've loved me with others and help me to give that same love to others as I seek to become more like You.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The Calm Before the Storm
As I sit in my bedroom, my children are both asleep on my bed. The sky is growing dark as a storm front, expected to bring some violent weather, approaches. We had a great day out and about for Ladies Bible Study and then a little lunch at Chick-fil-a. The weather earlier was beautiful and warm with a blue sky. That is no longer the case and the anticipation of what is to come grows minute by minute. Anticipation and fear are 2 very different things. I am not fearful because I know in whom I have believed in and He is in full control. So why the anticipation?
You see my home was destroyed by a tornado in 2006. I was in a small linen closet hovering tightly over my 1 yr. old son when the tornado struck. My entire home was destroyed with the exception of the small closet we were in. The noise was deafening as everything around me was torn into splinters and flying away or being crushed. While in that closet I agreed with God that He was in complete control and that whatever He choose to do I would be fine with.........but please make my death quick and allow someone to find my child quickly so he could be cared for and fed. I had packed snacks and bottles for him because of his genetic disorder. In just a few hours, if not fed, he could die too. As I accepted God's will for the tornado to be a direct hit, He gave me a complete peace and calmness in the midst of this storm. This kind of peace, that only God can give, cannot be explained, only experienced! I came away from the experience with only minor scratches on myself and nothing on my son! I also came away with a new appreciation for how much God loves me and has a plan for me and my son here on this earth. He alone controls life and death! He alone can do the seemingly impossible! How wonderful He was to show me in such a mighty way how much He loves me... to do something so miraculous for me!
At the time of the construction of my new home, I feel quite confident that no one would have judged or second guessed my decision to add a Safe Room to the plans. I was asked quite often if I was doing so. I always replied with something like, "No, the same God who protected me during the tornado did so without one, so I don't need to add one". So here I am, 2 yrs. later, and I am adding it on to the house. What changed? Did my faith and trust in God change? Do I no longer believe He loves me or my children? The answer is most definitely NO! The same God who protected me is the same yesterday, today, and forever! He is my shelter. I can rest only in Him! So why am I building this room?
Admittingly I confess my "fear" when a storm approaches or when the wind begins to blow - feelings I never had before the tornado. As I continue to ask for God's guidance during these times, I also feel the overwhelming need to protect my children with all the means He Himself has provided. Just as I would take a medicine or see a doctor in times of sickness, I am not denying God's power to heal my sickness or disease, but rather believing He has provided the knowledge needed during those times and I should take advantage of it. The trip to the doctor, in many cases, gives us knowledge and comfort and a plan of action to see us through the sickness. Likewise, consider the parent who gives their child a cell phone. No matter how many reasons they may state for its necessity, the only reason a parent gives such a gift is for their own comfort and peace of mind. Children and parents have been reaching each other for thousands of years without a cell phone. Does giving a cell phone to a child mean the parent doesn't trust God to care for their child? Certainly not. In much the same way a family safe room is one of those things my husband and I both feel will add that extra bit of comfort when the winds blow..........and boy do they with no real neighborhood of homes surrounding us to filter any of the effects of a storm.......just cow pastures, ponds, and an airport. I am not simply forgetting the power of God and His promise to give me everything I would ever need in this life to live for Him. On the contrary, what I am doing is thanking Him for all we know about storm safety and appreciating the fact that such a thing as a Safe Room exists.
Can God wipe out the Safe Room if He so chooses? Of course! In the blink of an eye!
Can He protect me in a storm without a safe room? He's proven He can!
Will He be disappointed with me because I choose to have one built in my home? No.
Will it change His ability and power during a storm? No.
Will it help give myself, my husband and my children a little extra peace of mind? Yes.
Will people judge me for adding it on, even Christians? Yes.
Can I worry about them? Should I worry about them? You answer.
You see my home was destroyed by a tornado in 2006. I was in a small linen closet hovering tightly over my 1 yr. old son when the tornado struck. My entire home was destroyed with the exception of the small closet we were in. The noise was deafening as everything around me was torn into splinters and flying away or being crushed. While in that closet I agreed with God that He was in complete control and that whatever He choose to do I would be fine with.........but please make my death quick and allow someone to find my child quickly so he could be cared for and fed. I had packed snacks and bottles for him because of his genetic disorder. In just a few hours, if not fed, he could die too. As I accepted God's will for the tornado to be a direct hit, He gave me a complete peace and calmness in the midst of this storm. This kind of peace, that only God can give, cannot be explained, only experienced! I came away from the experience with only minor scratches on myself and nothing on my son! I also came away with a new appreciation for how much God loves me and has a plan for me and my son here on this earth. He alone controls life and death! He alone can do the seemingly impossible! How wonderful He was to show me in such a mighty way how much He loves me... to do something so miraculous for me!
At the time of the construction of my new home, I feel quite confident that no one would have judged or second guessed my decision to add a Safe Room to the plans. I was asked quite often if I was doing so. I always replied with something like, "No, the same God who protected me during the tornado did so without one, so I don't need to add one". So here I am, 2 yrs. later, and I am adding it on to the house. What changed? Did my faith and trust in God change? Do I no longer believe He loves me or my children? The answer is most definitely NO! The same God who protected me is the same yesterday, today, and forever! He is my shelter. I can rest only in Him! So why am I building this room?
Admittingly I confess my "fear" when a storm approaches or when the wind begins to blow - feelings I never had before the tornado. As I continue to ask for God's guidance during these times, I also feel the overwhelming need to protect my children with all the means He Himself has provided. Just as I would take a medicine or see a doctor in times of sickness, I am not denying God's power to heal my sickness or disease, but rather believing He has provided the knowledge needed during those times and I should take advantage of it. The trip to the doctor, in many cases, gives us knowledge and comfort and a plan of action to see us through the sickness. Likewise, consider the parent who gives their child a cell phone. No matter how many reasons they may state for its necessity, the only reason a parent gives such a gift is for their own comfort and peace of mind. Children and parents have been reaching each other for thousands of years without a cell phone. Does giving a cell phone to a child mean the parent doesn't trust God to care for their child? Certainly not. In much the same way a family safe room is one of those things my husband and I both feel will add that extra bit of comfort when the winds blow..........and boy do they with no real neighborhood of homes surrounding us to filter any of the effects of a storm.......just cow pastures, ponds, and an airport. I am not simply forgetting the power of God and His promise to give me everything I would ever need in this life to live for Him. On the contrary, what I am doing is thanking Him for all we know about storm safety and appreciating the fact that such a thing as a Safe Room exists.
Can God wipe out the Safe Room if He so chooses? Of course! In the blink of an eye!
Can He protect me in a storm without a safe room? He's proven He can!
Will He be disappointed with me because I choose to have one built in my home? No.
Will it change His ability and power during a storm? No.
Will it help give myself, my husband and my children a little extra peace of mind? Yes.
Will people judge me for adding it on, even Christians? Yes.
Can I worry about them? Should I worry about them? You answer.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
What a difference a year makes!
As I sit in my sweats having my slim-fast and boiled egg, listening to my son stirring on the bed, I am amazed by all the things that have changed in a years time!
On this day one year ago the Lord granted my husband & I the child we had prayed 3yrs. for, though we would not know it for a few weeks.
On this day today my son turns 3mo. old!
On this day one year ago I weighed 253 pounds - down from 275 just a few years prior.
On this day today I weigh 220 pounds. Far from where I need to be, but better than where I was.
On this day one year ago I was sleeping in as long as my oldest son would let me.
On this day today I awoke at 5:30a.m. to feed my baby then rushed out the door to a friend's house to go for a walk.
On this day one year ago I was spending an incredible amount of money eating out as often as I could.
On this day today I will be preparing a meal from a monthly menu of meals posted on my fridge.
On this day one year ago I was planning the largest and busiest birthday party for my oldest son with lots of children and games, and of course 2 different homemade Curious George cakes.
On this day today I will be planning a relaxing day, perhaps a trip to the library for story time, run by Sonic for his favorite smoothie on the way home, and a night out at CiCi's with only our family for pizza and games and a simple cake.
On this day one year ago I have no idea what I accomplished that has any eternal value.
On this day today I have no idea what I will accomplish that has any eternal value.
Perhaps it wasn't that great of a year afterall. Perhaps some things really haven't changed at all. What will make the difference this year?
Dear Father in Heaven,
May I not become so busy doing "things" that I completely miss the blessings You have given all around me! May I pay more attention to my children and less attention to myself. May I seek to meet the needs of my husband rather than trying to get him to meet all of mine. May I not miss the opportunities to witness to those around me, both believing and unbelieving, through not only my actions but through my words as well. May this be the beginning of a new year of Seeking Your Will rather than my own. May Your purpose for my life become clear and then help me to accomplish all you have for me in such a way that will bring all Glory and Honor to Your name alone. May this be the beginning of the greatest year of my life that is a reflection of You!
In Your Most Faithful Name I Pray.
On this day one year ago the Lord granted my husband & I the child we had prayed 3yrs. for, though we would not know it for a few weeks.
On this day today my son turns 3mo. old!
On this day one year ago I weighed 253 pounds - down from 275 just a few years prior.
On this day today I weigh 220 pounds. Far from where I need to be, but better than where I was.
On this day one year ago I was sleeping in as long as my oldest son would let me.
On this day today I awoke at 5:30a.m. to feed my baby then rushed out the door to a friend's house to go for a walk.
On this day one year ago I was spending an incredible amount of money eating out as often as I could.
On this day today I will be preparing a meal from a monthly menu of meals posted on my fridge.
On this day one year ago I was planning the largest and busiest birthday party for my oldest son with lots of children and games, and of course 2 different homemade Curious George cakes.
On this day today I will be planning a relaxing day, perhaps a trip to the library for story time, run by Sonic for his favorite smoothie on the way home, and a night out at CiCi's with only our family for pizza and games and a simple cake.
On this day one year ago I have no idea what I accomplished that has any eternal value.
On this day today I have no idea what I will accomplish that has any eternal value.
Perhaps it wasn't that great of a year afterall. Perhaps some things really haven't changed at all. What will make the difference this year?
Dear Father in Heaven,
May I not become so busy doing "things" that I completely miss the blessings You have given all around me! May I pay more attention to my children and less attention to myself. May I seek to meet the needs of my husband rather than trying to get him to meet all of mine. May I not miss the opportunities to witness to those around me, both believing and unbelieving, through not only my actions but through my words as well. May this be the beginning of a new year of Seeking Your Will rather than my own. May Your purpose for my life become clear and then help me to accomplish all you have for me in such a way that will bring all Glory and Honor to Your name alone. May this be the beginning of the greatest year of my life that is a reflection of You!
In Your Most Faithful Name I Pray.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Focus
Ok, so I'm reading through my emails and I notice 2 friends have a blog listed. "How cool is that!", I'm thinking. So I continue to read on and by the end, I have decided I want one too. Just one problem.....what on earth am I going to "blog" about? How would I begin and who on earth would actually read it? Ok, so maybe that was 3 problems. But no one is actually counting but me, right? Despite the unknown I have decided to plunge in and go for it.
So basically at this very moment I should be trying to get some sleep. My 3 1/2 yr. old and 2 mo. old sons are actually both asleep at the same time! And what am I doing? Playing on the computer, longing for some adult conversation in one form or another, trying to get rid of a little stress. *And all the stay at home moms scream, "Amen! Been there, done that!". So here I am. Nothing incredibly interesting to say. Just analyzing my day yesterday and how I could have been soooo much better to my family and myself had I made some simple changes in my outlook. For instance, rather than trying to focus on cleaning and organizing my closet - don't know why I even attempted that one - I should have focused my attention on my 3 yr. old who was CRAVING attention from mommy. Attention other than, "please get a diaper for mommy", that is. And my poor hubby, coming home to a frazzled, worn out mom who wants nothing but a little time alone, handing him the children and then complaining he isn't doing this or that right.
Focus. Its all about my focus. When I place my focus on what I want to do rather than on the needs of those around me, everyone around me, including myself, becomes frustrated before long. That old saying, "when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" really is true. Had I simply placed my focus on my God given roll as a mother to my older son while the younger was sleeping, I would not be feeling guilty for pushing him aside throughout the day and contributing to his acting out for some of mommy's attention. Had I focused my attention on loving daddy when he came home rather than complaining about how tired I am and immediately turning the kids over to him and giving orders before he had even put his bag down, we may have said more than 2 or 3 sentences to each other. Focus! Not that taking some time for myself or needing a break or even blowing off a little steam is wrong, but there is a better way. God's way.
How about beginning my day in prayer and meditation, asking God to give me wisdom to make the right decisions throughout my day? To help me set my priorities in order. Was is really all that important that my closet was neat or was it more important to read the book my son asked me to read to him 2 or 3 times throughout the day? Or take time to go over the alphabet or counting m&m's, reviewing His Bible verse for church, coloring a page, singing a song. Its not like any of these things are exactly hard to do. Truthfully, what could be more important than these little spaces of time throughout our day together.? Well, duh! It doesn't take a genius to know the answer to that one. That's one thing I love about God. He makes our part in life so easy. Seek His Wisdom in each situation and He will guide us. Everything He wants me to do, He has promised in His Word to enable me to do it. He will never give me more than I can handle. No matter how little sleep I have, how badly my body aches, how many dishes or laundry loads need to be done, I CAN do ALL things through CHRIST which strengtheneth me. I need to focus on Him, listen and trust that He knows what is right for me, and then obey what He wants me to do. Just like the old song says, "Trust and Obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey".
So why is it then that I continue to try to plow through my day without as much as acknowledging His Desire and Willingness to help me? Obviously, every time I approach my day without my focus on God first and His will for my life, I end up miserable. The best days are always the days my attentions are off of myself and on those around me. Now many would stop here and say, "Whoa! You need to take care of yourself!" and you would be right. However, when I am miserable because of the way I've treated others, one of the best ways to care for myself is to care for those around me. When I spend a fantastic afternoon with my son or have a nice dinner and conversation with my husband, I feel so much better. The atmosphere of the entire household is a much more relaxed and enjoyable place to be. Dare I even say, A Haven of Rest. A place everyone wants to be rather than a place everyone wants to escape from.
Oh Lord God, be with me this day. Help me keep my eyes focused on You and Your will for my life today. Help me to be the Wife, Mother, and Woman you would have me to be. May Your love for others be active through me and help grant the peace and joy in the lives of my family and friends as I follow Your plan for my life today.
So basically at this very moment I should be trying to get some sleep. My 3 1/2 yr. old and 2 mo. old sons are actually both asleep at the same time! And what am I doing? Playing on the computer, longing for some adult conversation in one form or another, trying to get rid of a little stress. *And all the stay at home moms scream, "Amen! Been there, done that!". So here I am. Nothing incredibly interesting to say. Just analyzing my day yesterday and how I could have been soooo much better to my family and myself had I made some simple changes in my outlook. For instance, rather than trying to focus on cleaning and organizing my closet - don't know why I even attempted that one - I should have focused my attention on my 3 yr. old who was CRAVING attention from mommy. Attention other than, "please get a diaper for mommy", that is. And my poor hubby, coming home to a frazzled, worn out mom who wants nothing but a little time alone, handing him the children and then complaining he isn't doing this or that right.
Focus. Its all about my focus. When I place my focus on what I want to do rather than on the needs of those around me, everyone around me, including myself, becomes frustrated before long. That old saying, "when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" really is true. Had I simply placed my focus on my God given roll as a mother to my older son while the younger was sleeping, I would not be feeling guilty for pushing him aside throughout the day and contributing to his acting out for some of mommy's attention. Had I focused my attention on loving daddy when he came home rather than complaining about how tired I am and immediately turning the kids over to him and giving orders before he had even put his bag down, we may have said more than 2 or 3 sentences to each other. Focus! Not that taking some time for myself or needing a break or even blowing off a little steam is wrong, but there is a better way. God's way.
How about beginning my day in prayer and meditation, asking God to give me wisdom to make the right decisions throughout my day? To help me set my priorities in order. Was is really all that important that my closet was neat or was it more important to read the book my son asked me to read to him 2 or 3 times throughout the day? Or take time to go over the alphabet or counting m&m's, reviewing His Bible verse for church, coloring a page, singing a song. Its not like any of these things are exactly hard to do. Truthfully, what could be more important than these little spaces of time throughout our day together.? Well, duh! It doesn't take a genius to know the answer to that one. That's one thing I love about God. He makes our part in life so easy. Seek His Wisdom in each situation and He will guide us. Everything He wants me to do, He has promised in His Word to enable me to do it. He will never give me more than I can handle. No matter how little sleep I have, how badly my body aches, how many dishes or laundry loads need to be done, I CAN do ALL things through CHRIST which strengtheneth me. I need to focus on Him, listen and trust that He knows what is right for me, and then obey what He wants me to do. Just like the old song says, "Trust and Obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey".
So why is it then that I continue to try to plow through my day without as much as acknowledging His Desire and Willingness to help me? Obviously, every time I approach my day without my focus on God first and His will for my life, I end up miserable. The best days are always the days my attentions are off of myself and on those around me. Now many would stop here and say, "Whoa! You need to take care of yourself!" and you would be right. However, when I am miserable because of the way I've treated others, one of the best ways to care for myself is to care for those around me. When I spend a fantastic afternoon with my son or have a nice dinner and conversation with my husband, I feel so much better. The atmosphere of the entire household is a much more relaxed and enjoyable place to be. Dare I even say, A Haven of Rest. A place everyone wants to be rather than a place everyone wants to escape from.
Oh Lord God, be with me this day. Help me keep my eyes focused on You and Your will for my life today. Help me to be the Wife, Mother, and Woman you would have me to be. May Your love for others be active through me and help grant the peace and joy in the lives of my family and friends as I follow Your plan for my life today.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)